I never update this thing.. As a result, no one reads it.
I could put secrets here. I could say things I never want anyone to know.
Sure, it will all come out eventually. [secrets always find the light of day]  but for now I can get them out... pretend for even just a moment that no one will know, but have that relief of feeling like I told.
Like in the pages of my actual journal, where I say things I can barely admit to myself...

like the fact that I don't think I'll ever miss her...

... or the tearful reminder that I'll never have you.

there are things I thought I wanted, and I'm learning it was all so fleeting.

emotions I felt so sure of at first; I'm looking in the mirror and looking back on it all-- I'm realizing I'm so naive.

I can be cryptic... I can tell half the truth and stil feel I've told my secrets.

everyone knows the person I used to be... yet not one has noticed the person I'm trying to become.

let the little things go.
don't dwell in the past.
forget the what-ifs and ignore what could have been.

I want and I need but I won't chase after it.
I've somehow lost that desire to try.
         ... lost that ability to cry.
         ... lost that feeling like I care.

And now you know my secrets.